Jumpin Jahosaphat

Hailey is the name.
Blogging is my game.
Yeah...I dont know..first thing that popped into my head I guess.
Soo your probably wondering.."WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!"
All I have to say is..well..I would lie and say.."I've just been busy".
But then this little thing called my conscience would kick in and say.."Hailey..tell the truth. You know where liars go"
Then of course, I'd have to answer Mr. Conscience because..well..it's rude not to answer someone when they are talking to you.
Especially your conscience.
So I'd say, "No Mr. Coscience..I would have to say I dont know where liars go..what do you have to say about THAT."
And he'd probably say,"Hailey,dont EVER speak to me in that tone again..just be lucky I am not your mother child!"
All of this quoting and punctuation is making my brain tired.
Let's do something a little simpler.
Hailey: Mr. Conscience..I dont believe you could be my mother..for obvious reasons..so HA.
Mr. Conscience:Why must you be so technical with everything?!
Hailey: I AM NOT
Mr. Conscience: And you always have to argue over EVERYTHING. You know child, you should be a lawyer..have you ever pitched that idea to your parents? I'm sure you could make a lot of money..plus, you seem to be VERY good at it.
Hailey:I SO DO NOT ARGUE OVER EVERYTHING
Mr. Conscience: Do too
Hailey: NO I DONT!
Mr. Conscience: Your doing it now..see?
Hailey: ....
Hailey: Well...why do you always have to be right?! huh? Ever thought about that mr...mr KNOW IT ALL.
Mr. Conscience: Why yes, yes I have thought it over a few times..I dont know why I am right all the time..maybe it's because..gee..I dont know..BECAUSE I'M YOUR CONSCIENCE!


And there you have it.
The constant fued that I seem to have inside.
But that's a totally different blog.
On to brighter things.
So today..I woke up with this horrible headache..
I felt horrible.
Truthfully...I thought I might have puked.
The world was spinning, my stomache was aching, my body hurt, my knees were shaking.
(sorry guys, didnt mean to go all Dr. Seuss)
Anyway..I felt awful.
I took some deep breaths..prayed..took more deep breaths..
gee..you'd think I was going through labor or something.
But seriously..when it comes to pain..I can be a total wimp.
But then again, I am a total wimp anyway.
Dont believe me?
If you dont..may this be something to convince you.
When I was little it took me an hour to get me to try salad with pepper on it because I was convinced it would set my mouth on fire. (totally true..too much cartoons I guess..)
In hide and seek, I would never seek because I was afraid someone would jump out of their hiding spot and scare me.
I cant walk through the halloween aisle alone...mask scare me to DEATH.
At the age of five, I was afraid to eat at Lambert's Cafe because of the dark atmosphere.
At the age of seven, a talking pumpkin was sitting at the entrance of Wal-mart and I cryed so much...my mom carried me out of the store. Didnt go back into Wal-mart until Christmas.
I was afraid of coffee because I heard it made you pee a lot...so I got scared I would get dehydrated and have to go to the emergency room and they would have to stick that shot into me to give me fluids.
I was afraid to get my hair cut because I thought it would hurt.

Sadly...these are only a few.
So there you have it..I'm a wimp.
And I havent even mentioned the corn maze I went to two years ago yet.
Wanna hear the story?
Let's just saaay...I fell on the guy masked as Chucky.
End of story.
But hey...on the bright side there where no major injuries...right?
I scraped my elbow..but hey..that wasnt major in my case.
A neon pink Band-Aid did the trick.
The point is...we all are wimps when it comes down to it.
I mean sure..guys put on their "Me Tough, Me In Charge, Me a Man" front.
Sorry Guys.
I didnt mean to make you sound like Cave men.
The funny thing is.. everytime I go to a cornmaze..I see all guys with their chest poofed out and..I cant help but giggle.


Eh EHHHM.
To the point please?
When I felt absolutley horrible..like I was going to fall apart..like I might die..
(Heres what I like:Being dramatic)
I walked out into the hallway..and BAM.
I felt better.
Miracle?
No.
Hypocondriac?
A little.
A ghost had taken over my body and made me feel well again?
Psh. Hardly.
You know..it's so strange how when your on the edge of loosing it..you think about the stupidest things.
For some people..it's food.
For others..it's coffee.(Oh Yess)
For me...a boy.
For those who know me..they are probably thinkin "I totally saw that coming"
For those who dont..well...welcome to the Ever Changing and Multifacited World of Hailey.
Yup.
Thats me.
And mostly...I dont expect them.
They just creep up on me..like..like a spider to their victim.
Usually..its crushes on guys from television..like Zac Efron or Taylor Lautener.
And the beloved Mr. Darcy or course.
But this guy..who remains nameless...was just there.
And it freaked me out like Darcey watching "The Grudge".
And believe me...that was pretty intense.
I felt better.
But then comes that stupid butterflyish feeling that I hate.
Because..I havent gotten that feeling before.
Weird.
Now I know what all those stupid girly make-up break-up songs are talking about.
Heh.
So yes...being me..I freaked out..and started to stare.
Like..stare.
Heres what goes down: I like words.
Stare (v)-to gaze fixedly, with the eyes wide open
Yup.
Here I am...staring at him with only a look..that could possibly scare you.
I dont know what would scare me more if I were a boy...the fact that some weirdo is staring at me strangley..or the fact that she's drooling..A LOT.
Hmm.
Lets ponder this thought.


Ok.
Ponder time is over.
If I were the boy I'd probably say something like "What on this green earth are you doing?"
Now..if I were me..which I am...I'd say..."You..Y-Y-You are...Your umm..well...ahh..I think...well um...uh...you see..I..."
If you think this is insane now...you would be dumbfounded at what could possibly fall out of my mouth next.
"YOUR PRETTY!"
Which would be followed by me..running into a bathroom,the nurse,or home..so I could hide under my covers and not come out for about..hmm..lets say a year.
In other words..see you Junior year.

I get it...you think I am a crazy person.
I guess you'd be about right.
Good news is..this little cinereio (if thats how ya spell it)
Diiidnt really happen.
The staring?
Yes.
The drooling?
Yeah..that happened too.
Him noticing?
Heh..thank goodness that didnt happen.
The good news is...I feel better.
Silently crushing...hmm...I guess thats my thing.
Im fine with being single.
It works for me.
I dont need a guy for me to be happy..I'm fine all alone..okay fine me and Zac Efron.
But thats only in my dreams...sadly...it satisfies me..you know..since Zac and Vanessa are getting married sometime soon.
Not that I had a chance.
(I still think I do in my mind..but you will be paying social security when you finally convince me otherwise...if ever.)


Enough about guys.
Lets talk about..about..hmm.
Today...I got the look.
I always seem to get one look or another.
In fact..I get so many looks each day..I have begun to name them.
The snob look.
The "Ew you stink look" (people give you this look whether you put on perfume of not)
The "You did not just go there" look...usually leads to a 'Cat fight'
The "Okay then look"
And heres one of the most popular...The "I think I just pooped my pants look"
This one can be deadly....
although it does make me laugh until tears run down my face.
When you look at the title..then look at the person who is making the face...you will notice it really DOES look like they just pooped their pants.
Yeah.
Kinda Hysterical.
Heres the one I got the other day.
First, the scenario.(Did I spell it right this time?)
I was in one of those moods.
Not one of those moods that makes husbands and boys all over the world want to take cover...
but a Acadjon mood.
Heres what I do: Make up words.
Acadjon (n)- The mood in which someone is extremley joyful and happy. When no bad mood is in sight. Happieness. Jumping for joy during test Clickin your heals together in mid air kind of joy. The haileyness essence.
So naturally being in this kind of a mood...I tell jokes.
But not just any jokes..the funny ones.
I walked right up to my grandparents and said,"Okay, so there where two apples sitting in an oven. One apple turned to the other and said WOOH ITS HOT IN HERE. And the other apple turned and looked at the other apple and said AAAH! A TALKING APPLE!"
Yeah.
I know..I thought it was funny too.
But no.
I guess not.
Because...I received a look.
And it was noooothing funny.
Hilarious I thought.
Uh huh..I hate it when they look at me with that weird wrinkle right between their eyebrows.
It makes me feel like I have suddenly converted into a Turkish Dwarf with sideburns and an accordion.
Pittiful isnt it?
It's called the TFSA look.
Turkish Monk with Sideburns and an Accordion.
Yup.
It totally fits.
Well...I'm off..
I gotta eat some supper.
I'm starved. (Heh. Hardly..my grandparents would never let that happen..I LOVE THEM :)



TATa


-Hailey on a Humpbak Whaley-