When I Die...I Want To Be Buried At The Cheesecake Factory

Dearest blog,
it's hailey here.
And yes..it's been awhile...but chill...cuz nothing really interesting has happened.
Okay, I lie.
A few really cool things have happened to me so far this summer.
First off, I made a new friend!
And...well...there are always room for new friends in your life.
Friends teach you lessons, life lessons, and I guess God sent another one so He could teach me something else in my life.
Another thing is...that I actually got to talk to Nick Jonas.
And you don't hear that everyday from people...
if I had written this blog the day of instead of a week after...I wouldn't be THIS mellow.
Anyways, your probably wondering how this happened...right?!
Well, it was on a live video chat.
And....I would tell you the raw details...but this is the internet folks...
to the people that know me...I will tell you soon. :)
So, as you can see..these are just some of the interesting things that have happened to me this summer.
Besides the fact that I'm going on vacation with my mom and I might get to see the Jonas Brothers in concert.
But, you know....nbd.

Truth time.
Everyone in life has problems.
Everyone in life has difficulties.
People talk.
We all like gossip.
We all say one thing...and mean another.
There are people that stay...people that leave.
Leaders....and followers.
You wanna know my point right?
Bare with me.
Imagine this.
Imagine, that for one month...everything in your life was perfect.
I know.
Hard to conjure up...am I right?
I mean, we all have our own way of looking at perfection.
Some think its the fact that everything is precise.
And in a way they would be right.
Since dictionary.com is SO incredibly handy...I decided to grasp it...and put the site into good use.
Perfect (adj.)- 1.
conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type: a perfect sphere; a perfect gentleman.
2.
excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement: There is no perfect legal code. The proportions of this temple are almost perfect.
3.
exactly fitting the need in a certain situation or for a certain purpose: a perfect actor to play Mr. Micawber; a perfect saw for cutting out keyholes.
4.
entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings: a perfect apple; the perfect crime.
5.
accurate, exact, or correct in every detail: a perfect copy.
6.
thorough; complete; utter: perfect strangers.
7.
pure or unmixed: perfect yellow.
8.
unqualified; absolute: He has perfect control over his followers.
9.
expert; accomplished; proficient.



Turns out...
perfection has many meanings and angles.
I like the way number 4 puts it.
Without flaws.

Back to the imagining part.
Imagine having the perfect life.
The perfect house.
The perfect grades.
Imagine the perfect money amount.
Like, if you were rich.
Imagine having a porsche as your first car.
Oh, and at school...having the perfect boyfriend.
A guy that was a gentleman, smart, funny, a killer smile...lets not forget the muscles.
Awww yeauh.
With a 6 pack.
Oh! Oh! And...a smirk..
I'm getting out of control here...you get the point.
Anyways, imagine how your life would be.
Would you be gorgeous?
Popular?

After you've thought about that...ponder this..
would you remain the same.
Would you remain humble?
Would you appreciate the smaller things in life?
Or would certain people fade out of the picture.

If so, maybe thats the point.
Maybe you are who you are...because of that exact thing.
If everything were perfect in your own life...what would there be to look forward to.
Who would still be by your side.
Who would you push away.
What exactly would you learn.

Here's what I think.
I think God does certain things for a reason.
And yeah, we've all heard the better side of that arguement before...
but it's true.
We are all made differently.
We all have different things, we all have different desires..
we all have a craving for different things and want to take different paths throughout our lifetime.
Why is it..that when someone has something we don't...we want it.
And why do we fret when we dont get it.

For example...there was this one girl in my class...lets give her a nickname since this is the internet...
Her name was Wendy Garfunkle.
(Yeah, I just saw a Wendy's commercial...don't hate!)
Anyways,
I used to think she had it all.
The hair, the guys, the brains..
she could even play sports.
I was new to the school...so I wasnt sure how things worked.
When I first saw her...I just knew we had to be friends.
I was vulnerble and naiive.
We started to talk on the internet, and I started to notice that she would leave me shorter and shorter e-mails.
Before long, it became one word e-mails that were being sent back to me...and half of the time..I was the one holding up most of the conversation.
If the conversation were a tent...it would have collapsed.
Horrible right?!
So here I am...pouring my heart and soul out to someone who was probably bored to death...and most likely..didnt care.
But I started to see a pattern.
Her e-mails got longer the more she started to talk about other people.
I have this thing.
Its more of a complex really.
I HATE to talk about what other people are doing...not all together...just in the way of..you know...gossip.
And that is exactly..what Wendy loved, gossip.
When she realized I didnt respond to the way that she treated other people behind their back...I knew I had to stop talking to her.
Immediately.
But I couldnt.
It was like it had some kind of a pull on me...and my soul.
It took me over...completely.
I thought I was so secure in knowing that what she was doing was wrong...but I could be easily swayed..just like anyone else.
One day, I decided to talk to her because I saw that she was online.
I sent her a message..and there was no reply.
I waited for her to answer..but there was no reply.
I refreshed the page..and I saw that the e-mail had been read.
My heart sunk.
I looked at her profile..and she was no longer online.
If you thought that my heart sunk low last time...you would never guess just how low it sank this time.
I was done.
She was ignoring me...and..
since I talked to her and got caught up in her web...I spilled things.
Things about my life.
Things about me.
I was giving in.
I wanted to be friends with perfection.
And the more I wanted to look and be perfect..the more I felt ugly..and embarrassed..
like I should go hide in a hole somewhere.
I decided to speak up.
I asked her why she would ignore me.
I asked her why she treats people the way she does.
And it wasnt that simple of a message.
I blew up. Hailey was gone...Girl Interrupted had taken over.
And it felt good.
The next day..people were asking me why I would act that way towards Wendy.
She ended up telling other people and showing them my e-mail.
There it was...all over school.
Thats when I knew.


Perfection looks good.
Okay fine...its like....putting Lil- Wayne next to Shemar Moore. Big. Contrast.
It looks gorgeous.
Everyone wants it.
Even if its just a piece.
Even if its just for awhile.
But what comes out of it?
A pretty face and other materialistic ventures?
It all fades.
And thats when reality takes its toll.
Wendy was pretty.
She had it all.
But she wasnt happy.
She could have been given Gods green earth and she lived for other peoples things.
She only wanted what they had.
Even if it meant hurting them.
SO..
Heres the jig.
Next time you see something that someone else has that you might want..
be happy for them.
I know it can be hard.
Lets just face it...Its straight up brutal.
But its worth it.
Jealousy and lust brings out the ugly in people.
Take it from someone who knows.
Like God Himself.
I mean...think about it.
He walked around on this earth and people didn't believe who He was.
They all laughed at Him.
Talked behind His back.
Spat at Him.
Cussed to His face.
And He was Christ!
The one who died for them!
How insane is that!?
He kept His composure.
He didnt try payback...He didnt cuss back at them.
Which is something that really inspires me.
There are times when people just want to break down...
lets face it people...there are times when we just LOSE IT.
Ive felt that way...and the more I read Gods word and prayed..
the more He talked to me and made me understand.
You know when your going through a rought patch in life...and the most comforting people say to you is "We've all been there kiddo" or "Your not going through this alone"..oh..and lets not forget "There are people out there who have it way worse, hun."
Lets face it..those are just flat out sad excuses.
Next time...think about this..
God did it.
God made it through.
God has the wheel...and your going to be just fine..He promised to never let you fall.
He's always there to comfort you.
Hows that for a good 'ol pep talk?!
I know, right?!
SO much betta. (just turned my british accent on..heh, heh.)


Dont be so quick to be perfect...God created you...
Isnt that perfect enough?!


-My name is Hailey, muh friends call me Hailer..dude I have asthema..GET MY INHALER!

:)