EUREKA!

I dont really know the reasoning for this title.
I guess its one of those first thing that comes to your mind things.
Now..i know i have been really depressing lately..and i am sorry for that.
I guess i just feel really out of it.
I havent ever really felt this way and its really hard for me to try and handle it.
Having one person in your thoughts while you like him is really easy to do..when you like him.
But what about if you are trying to move on?
What do you do?
For me..
he is still there..right where i left him..
and..its not driving me crazy.
Its..pushing me.
Pushing me to do something about this guy.
Like..telling him.
Like actually communicating.
Its.......crazy.
And this feeling...makes me feel..really really good.
I dont know..
its really weird.
But whatever it is..
is actually moving me forward and it helps me to go on througout the day.
Last night..
it seems like a bad dream..
and its something that i will never have to live again.
Its over.
And i have never felt so relieved in my life.
Summer has a total point about..well..my big super duper uber crush.
He is unexplainable..
maybe..he doesnt even need to be explained.
And its great because his flaws are beautiful..and i think everyone sees that.
Hes different from everyone else.
And if you have heard of that song Johnny Angel.
I am pretty darn sure he is my Johnny Angel.
he he.
Sorry..
I am just laughing because i read all of the stuff that i have written and i sound like one of those hopeless romantics.
ha ha.
It makes me laugh..
i sound so..
gushy.
Yeah..i like that word.
gushy.
You know..the most common word used to decribe Romeo and Juliet.
Its so lovey dovey..people usually call it mushy or gushy.
At least that is what my english teacher says. ( heh)
Anotha Topic.
Being yourself.
Its hard to do.
Just simply getting on the phone with someone may change your total attitude.
Its called a phone voice.
One sec you could be all grouchy and rude..
then when someone calls you on the phone..you could be all happy and cheerful.
Thats only one example of changing who you are.
When you see a really hot guy...what do you do?
Do you walk around with an old sweatshirt and dirty jeans and have your hair all fluffy?
Well..speaking for myself...
I panic..but thats just me.
And i act all sweet and stuff.
I try my best to remain how i always am..but it never works out for me.
I wish someone could tell me why we always change to fit other people.
Sooner or later..we just feel like a bunch of chameleons.
Changing colors or attitudes to fit in with our natural habitat.
And..its wrong.
We should always be true to ourselves no matter who you are.
Most adults tell me that it took them a while to find out who they actually were.
But me..
I wanna know.
Be strong in who i am.
Know myself so i wont change when someone else is around.
Have that internal confidence.
I will struggle up the tree of life..but atleast i have some branches to help me climb.
(my branches being my friends and family)
HEH.
I liked that.
I cant believe i came up with that.
heh.
I say heh way to much.
just thought id let ya know that.
Well..
i guess i will talk to yall later.
You guys better have listened to that song me and darcey put on our blog.
I LOVE IT!
One of my absolute favorite songs.
Its great.
Well..
i guess i will chat at you guys later..

God bless ya!
Hailey:)